Crunch Breakspine! Week 2

This week Crunch has learned a valuable lesson. It was "Don't forget to put your stuff where it belongs, or else it just gets lost in the couch." Related note, Crunch was able to post this image after an exhaustive search for his camera.

2Pac x 3 Week 2

sweaty for your love

El Abogado Week 2/Abenture 1

El Abogado was walking out of the Courthouse with conviction #147 under his belt. "Good," he muttered to himself, shifting his briefcase to his right hand, "another abhorrent threat to society locked away." This was a big conviction - a double homicide combined with a DUI and illegal elk smuggling. All of the sudden El Abogado was on the ground, staring up into the sunlight, a menacing figure looming over him. "Your abs can't save you now!" said the figure, and El Abogado the figure. It was a perp he locked up for indecent exposure a year before. He finally got out and obviously had a grudge against our esteemed hero. Luckily the perp was four foot five and not approaching muscular; the assault was a fool's errand. After a not very prolonged fight, the perp was bloodied and brought into the halls of justice by El Abogado himself. The only damage sustained to El Abogado was a ripped shirt. Justice arrived.

Abble Jacks- Week 2

It's coooooooookie crisp.

AB Aeterno - Week 2

AB Aeterno is packing up from a loooooong 2010 school year

(yes this was actually taken IN my classroom)

Week 2!

Hello again. Here are the top 3 for best abs after week 1:
1) El Abogado
2) Tizona
3) Mr. Wilku

The winner for best abventure during week 1 was Tizona. Way to go! Boo to the rest of you who didn't do anything worth telling.

Remember that the awards are for best abs, most improved, best abventure, most abventurous, and strongest. Just because someone wins a week, does not mean that he or she wins the contest. Keep on working hard, and do those abventures!

Week 2: Peekaboo!

Peekaboo! It is I Emiliano! I took a week off of revolution to curl my stache, but I am back now and revolutionarier than ever. Let us crunch oppression together!

Week 2 Def'n Pic

lacking definition, but not ganas

Goals!!!

This may be ill timed what with the recent tragedy in the World Cup, but it was recently brought to my attention, so I decided to post it. This is what I want the blog to look like by the end of the competition. Everyone, get on buying the designer clothes, taking pics in black and white, and looking pensive in your underwear!

Week 1 Abventure: La Sandía

This story will be brief, and if not for the photo, you would be left in utter disbelief.

Preface: There once was a girl who tried eating an entire watermelon, seeds an' all. Below is the story of what became of the glutton, Tizona.

Tragar, o No Tragar, Esta es la Pregunta.

Estaba comiendo una sandía,
Cuando tragué una semilla.
Y sabes que pasó? hace solo un día?
¡La empezó crecer una sandía dentro de la barriga mía!
translation:
To swallow, or not to swallow, that is the question.

I was eating a watermelon,
When I swallowed a seed.
And do you know what happened? after only one day?
A watermelon started to grow inside my stomach!

Moral: If you are worried about having watermelon babies, best to abstain from swallowing the seeds; alternatively, you can spit them out (this can even be made into a competition of who can spit them the farthest). However, watermelon babies seem pretty innocent, so I say swallow to your heart's content!

Introducing Mr. Wilku!!!!/Week 1 cuz he was late

These are my abs. There are many out there but only set like these. They are unique. My abs may not look like much, but they CAN kill...and have.

AB Aeterno Week 1

Sittin' back with a whiskey after a long day of not working out.

Abatha Christie Week 1

A mustache never looked so good.

Introducing/ Week 1 Ichigo Kurasabi!!!

I have ab dream.....

Abble Jacks Week 1

This is a candid photo of my abs drinking some cold Seagram's gin straight from the bottle, as they are want to do. A quote from a bystander who saw this picture being taken: "Why are you guys taking half naked pictures of each other on your phones?"

Mighty Flexin' Abdominal Rangers Week 1

No caption was sent in with this photo, so I am just going to freestyle comment. Does anyone else see the tree of life in the hair pattern on Might Felxin' Abdominal Rangers?

Emiliano Abgato Week 1

There are no more tears. Only go time. Even as I write this, time is going. Do you see my moustache? Yes you do. Do you see my eyes? They are bloodshot. Do you see my mouth? It holds the grim grin of determination. I'll see y'all in the jungle. Welcome...

Crunch Breakspine Week 1

Crunch has been hard at work this week at the gym of his imagination.
He also made it out to the real gym at least once. This was likely
negated by a very large pork burrito, and a basket of fried clams.

Any innuendo you take from this is your own sick mind at work.

Tizona Week 1

They don't say "an apple a day" over here. No, it's "seis cervezas al diá" aqui en España.
A six pack in 10 weeks...? Ha, yall must be jokin', right? I have a six pack everyday. And I'll take that 2-sip win as well! Viva spañaaaaaaa!!!!!

mordidas,
tizona

Intoducing El ABogado, even though it's Week 1

I am El ABogado, alias Abney Taggart.

2Pac x 3 Week 1

A european intellectual, 2x3 pac often has a cigarette while
reading marx... he doesn't understand it, but knows that it looks
cool. despite this, pac is trying to quit smoking and hopefully his
abventures will help distract him from that sweet nicotine taste

Week 1 begins

Hello everyone! Week 1 has begun, so a new round of pictures will be posted. If anyone wants to predict outcomes of the abattles do so with a comment below this post. The rankings will be put up soon, but the definite winner of week 0 was 2PAC x 3, so congrats to 2PAC x 3 on the victory: Who will win this week? It depends on who has the most successful strategy. My money is still on whomever decides to get ab implants. That's just about it, but remember to check back on Friday to read about all the crazy adventures our ab contestants have gotten into.

Introducing Abble Jacks!!!

They're magically delicious!

Introducing Mighty Flexin' Abdominal Rangers!!!

I'm in. As are the components of my six pack, which are named (clockwise) Red Ab Ranger, Blue Ab Ranger, Black Ab Ranger, Green Ab Ranger, Black Ab Ranger, and Yellow Ab Ranger. Clearly denoting my whole ab region as the "Mighty flexin abdominal rangers"

Introducing Amerigo vespucci!

Mine might be meek, but they got great book smarts

Introducing Crunch Breakspine!!!

You can have a "suck it" award. Just, you know, suck it.

Introducing Abatha Christie

Winner of the cutest stomach freckle award.

Introducing Emiliano Abgato!!!

I am Emiliano Abgato and I fight for justice, revolution, and anarchy. If there is injustice I do sit ups on it, if there is a severe lack of progress I full vertical crunch it, and if there is order I use the Total Gym on it, because while it works the arms, the lats, the backs, whatever--it always works the GUT.

I have a 3 step plan for revolution: step 1) grow a bitchin' stache (check), step 2) make my face into a six pack, step 3) REVOLT! Look at my picture. LOOK! That's right I am crying...blood. By the end of this I will be crying molten-steel hard muscle. BELIEVE IT!!!

Introducing AB Aeterno

I don't work out...but I have time...

Introducing Tizona!!!

Cuidado, yo soy Tizona

WELCOME

Hi all, and Welcome to the League of Abstrodinary Gentlemen (and Ladies). Here are the rules:
The league consists of betting on the outcomes of a contest that goes on for 10 weeks. The contest is one of abdominal six packs. That is right we are competing to see who can get the best 6er over a 10 week period. Participants will use whatever means necessary to increase definition over a 10 week period in order to win in the following categories: 1) best six pack, 2) most improved stomach, 3) strongest sixer, 4) best six-pack adventure, and 5) most adventurous six-pack. six-packs in question will be ranked weekly by 3 objective judges, in order to determine a ranking amongst participants. At the end of the competition the best six pack (1) and most improved six pack (2) will be determined in this manner. Keep in mind definition does not equal strength, sometimes it is about having little to no body-fat. Strongest six pack will be determined by contestants submitting a picture of them doing an act of strength with their stomach, which will also be determined by 3 objective judges. Every week contestants take a picture of their stomach doing an adventure and write a short blurb narrating the event. The best narrative/picture over the 10 week period will be awarded the best six pack adventure (4), and the most consitently adventurous six pack will be awarded the most adventurous six-pack award (5). Both of these will be judged by a jury of our peers. The prizes for each of these awards are awesome and sendable over the mail (no jello molds).

The fantasy-league aspect of this competition is the following. Each week six packs will be ranked in relation to each other and then forced into combat with one another while bystanders will predict the outcome. For each successful outcome predicted the bystander gains a point. Bystanders also get to predict who will win each of the various awards at the end of competition and receive points for their predictions. At the end of the 10 weeks the bystander with the most points wins an awesome to be determined prize. To simulate the combat a 20 sided die will be rolled to represent damage done by a six pack. Damage will be determined by the number rolled by the die-ranking. For example if the best six pack for the week (rank 1) faces the fifth best (rank 5) and both roll a 5, the 1st ranked does 4 damage and the fifth does 0. Thus the first ranked is the winner, but if the first ranked rolls a 1, and the 5th ranked rolls a 9, then the fifth ranked wins. Ties can be predicted. There will also be an award for most winningest six pack.

Introducing 2PAC x 3!!!

The 2pacx3 has been in construction for 24 years. known to eat copious amounts of chocolate cake and beers, 2pacx3 operates best while sitting still and reclining, but he is realizing that, well, he can't win the compition without moving around, so he'll be heading round the globe on a fact finding mission of abstention