Week 9-El Abogado

El Abogado has undergone a change of scenery. Rather than his childhood home, he has relocated to a den of thieves, cheats, and drunks. And politicians. El Abogado has become redundant, for which he apologizes. El Abogado has encountered new challenges in this relocated place: homeless people, expensive beer, and rabid dogs. That's right, El Abogado fought off a wild dog. A pack of wild dogs. The dogs picked up his well-toned (abs) scent and tracked him for hours. They followed him all across the city, finally cornering El Abogado on G Street. The first dog attacked El Abogado straight on, but El Abogado deflected it with his stomach muscles. As the other dogs readied their attack, El Abogado stepped into a building with a heavy glass door. The rabid dogs, lacking sufficient appendages and height with which to generate force, were powerless to get to him. El Abogado anti-climatically walked inside and ate a turkey sandwich. The disappointed, rabid dogs realized that they could not even starve out El Abogado, and left him alone in search of other prey who would not be so elusive and strong-abed.

El Abogado in a towel

El Abogado has not forgotten about this little sporting competition. On the contrary, El Abogado wanted to make you beg like the Randian looters that you are!

Additionally, you all are pervets, sneaking up on El Abogado right after he showered. It's a good thing you didn't catch him right after this photo was snapped. You eyes might have been permanently blinded! Or El Abogado might have been permanently shamed.

Week 6: relabxing

Oh, didn't see you there. El Abogado was just lounging, having a nice drink when you rudely encountered him laying out in all of his glory. How dare you?! Well then, now that El Abodago has gotten all of his indignant frustration out, would you care to join him for a drink? You look ab-solutely fabulous, did El Abogado mention that before? Rabishing, even. Oh, you would like a drink? How about we take these drinks into El Abogado's hot tub? Yes, El Abogado has a hot tub, in fact he has three. He also has a master bedroom, would you like to see it? Well....?

Week 5/The Heist

El Abogado took an unexpected vacation last week. Either that or he was captured by ninja terrorists who brought him to the Great Salt Lake and washed his cuts in its water. Cruel, cruel ninja terrorists. They didn't want to kill him. Only perform their quasi-baptism in salt water. Either way, he can't talk about it.

El Abogado week 3!!!

El Abogado enjoys a relaxing read to take his mind off of the heat. And off of all his rich clients whose money will soon belong to him so that he can purchase more protein shakes. Naturally he reads about other abogados. Ones who aren't quite as good. And by not quite as good, El Abogado means laughably terrible compared to his phenomenal capabilities.

El Abogado Week 2/Abenture 1

El Abogado was walking out of the Courthouse with conviction #147 under his belt. "Good," he muttered to himself, shifting his briefcase to his right hand, "another abhorrent threat to society locked away." This was a big conviction - a double homicide combined with a DUI and illegal elk smuggling. All of the sudden El Abogado was on the ground, staring up into the sunlight, a menacing figure looming over him. "Your abs can't save you now!" said the figure, and El Abogado the figure. It was a perp he locked up for indecent exposure a year before. He finally got out and obviously had a grudge against our esteemed hero. Luckily the perp was four foot five and not approaching muscular; the assault was a fool's errand. After a not very prolonged fight, the perp was bloodied and brought into the halls of justice by El Abogado himself. The only damage sustained to El Abogado was a ripped shirt. Justice arrived.

Intoducing El ABogado, even though it's Week 1

I am El ABogado, alias Abney Taggart.